Morning Joke

Joe Scarborough uttered an unbelievable statement of ignorance this morning on Morning Joke, the MSNBC show that everyone loves to hate; Joe asked where the United Nations were in times like these.

Well Joe, about the time you were a representative from the great state of Florida, conservatives started belly-aching about how the UN was trying to be come a one-world order, how they wanted to take over our military, and how they were mostly a bunch of commies because they would not agree with every ridiculous position we took. So, those same idiots refused to pay dues to keep the UN running. And they started talking about how the US would act unilaterally. You see, at the time we put boots on the ground in places like Grenada, and won spectacular victories against opponents that might as well have been in the stone age. We were feeling like big dogs. The porch was ours.

Not so anymore, with a corrupt military that costs too much, debt we cannot get rid of, and an economy that is adjusting to the new world order we refused to acknowledge was coming our way. What better time to start bitching about the UN that we so clearly gutted when we were on top. What absolute hypocrisy. A republican bitching about the UN they strangled. It is almost as bad as calling France our ‘first ally’ after demanding freedom fries. The world should fear us; we are acting nuts.

Joe and Mika contemplate whirled peas. From Vanity Fair.

Morning Joe is one of the most-watched shows on MSNBC, and that ain’t saying much. Ratings have been tanking for years, and Morning Joke, as we refer to it, has become more vapid and meaningless, as Joe Scarborough issues long and monotonous statements designed to provoke controversy, and get the network out of a dismal third place. In an attempt to stave off a catastrophe, the network ran to the center, hoping to become the one thing that no one wants; straight news. Results have been modest. The network is mired in third. Joe Scarborough is doing his part though, attacking the President, attacking the candidates, attacking anyone to get some traction on a network going nowhere.

The UN is dead, Joe. You and your friends killed it.

CNBC Won The Debate

CNBC is being called out for the job they did moderating last night’s debate. We believe they should be given a medal. For once, canned answers that meant nothing did not cut it. And that is the way all debates should be.

Is Becky Quick a nasty little witch? No, she is, like the other moderators, a numbers person, and numbers people do not tolerate answers that are wrong. It was pure business journalism when she looked up a disputed fact on the internet during a break. Quick, John Harwood, and Carl Quintanilla are veteran business journalists who have been at this a long time. They came into this debate ready to challenge bogus promises by candidates who say little else.

Is Becky Quick a pawn of the liberal media? Hardly. Interviews on the network indicate that she doesn’t tolerate bullshit from anyone. She is a hard-hitting journalist who calls you out when you’re wrong. Don’t we need that in this relentless storm of poo-filled answers by candidates who know the answers are wrong? Flat taxes that hurt the poor. Promising to balance the budget with no tax increases. Health savings accounts. All pipe-dreams. Last night, those dreams were not allowed by the moderators. Good.

In a perfect world, this team would moderate a Democratic debate, and set the tone for all debates in the future. They did their homework, and never tossed a softball, and that is good for the country.

Morning Sickness

Ready to hurl? Here we go…

Chuck Todd

Scarier than Caitlyn. Able to leap tall 30 Rock in a single bound. It’s a bore. It’s a flame. It’s Chuck Todd. Who needs morning sickness! Gag me with a spoon!

It’s kristallnacht at MSNBC. The Cycle, Alex Wagner, and Ed Schultz are canned. Who will show up for work on Monday?

The Huck sucks

Mike Huckabee races to the bottom, in a comment that re-defines low. He send boots to abortion clinics. We guess they will also surround the Supreme Court. The thing about religious nuts is that they want to create the same theocracies they revile.

Morning Sickness

Ready to hurl? Off we go.

Ed Shultz out at MSNBC

It a pathetic effort to find relevancy, MSNBC is moving to the center, canceling left-wing commentary in favor of straight news reporting. What, you say? You get your news on the internet? Well, maybe seeing Chuck Todd every day at five will wet your panties. Or fill your toilet. An afternoon hurl is good for you. With Todd’s shining face, you should be aspirating often. But there’s more. Rumor is that Brian Williams is returning from the dead, his penance for making up bullshit stories about himself over. All is forgiven, Brian; you can be on TV again!

Stacy Dash on keeping your man-meat happy

The break music on Fox News is solid country western, and so, it appears, is the marital advice. Stacy Dash should know, she has been down that aisle. Three times.  Juliet Huddy too. The astounding thing is that despite the sheer volume of marriages, viewers are never at a loss for marital advice. Wanna learn how to keep your right wing neanderthal? Why?

Sarah Palin will speak truth to the Donald

The presidency is not one man, but an administration that works for the betterment of the nation. So, who better to get advice from than Sarah Palin?  You may remember her as the Tea Party darling running mate of John McCain, who thrilled us with her lack of knowledge about anything other than gutting fish. The Donald considers her voice a valuable one, so if he wins, expect to hear that awful nasaly twang for four long years. On the other hand, we get to spend more time with Bristol Palin, the poster girl for out-of-wedlock mothers. Maybe we will get to see a drunken brawl with the French Ambassador in the Rose Garden? A stripper pole in the Taupe House? The Palin’s will keep things lively. You know, the right talks a big game when it comes to family values. They go to conferences and swear to take America back to a time when families mattered. We can’t wait.

Morning Sickness

Feel like you want to throw up? Morning sickness is a state of media. Let us assist you.

Gunning for Boehner

It’s all theatrics. John Boehner has too many buds in the House, and too many donors. But it tells us how fractured the GOP is right now. Wonder why the Donald is doing so well? The party is splitting.

Save the lions. Hunt a dentist.

Fox un Fruenden led with a question, as they usually do. Was the killing of Cecil the lion the fault of the dentist, or his guide? The dentist, who finds the killing of endangered animals some sort of perverse thrill. Is this a man-hood issue? It’s a gutless issue.

Morning Schmoe – Is he worse than the Donald?

Joe Scarborough rails against a bad deal with Iran. We’ll side with the nuclear experts and common sense. Having ten years to bring Iran into the fold makes a lot more sense than following Bibi into a war with the most strategically located country in the middle east. Let’s do something smart for once over there.

Happy Birthday, Socialist Moocher State

Medicare and Medicaid turn fifty, but relentless attacks by the Grand Old Party make the future prognosis poor. It is without a doubt a great program, and one that could live a long time with a little care, and a very small rise in taxes, but the lunatic right would have you believe that keeping it spells death for America. It would be better if those who were not fortunate enough in life leave this world. So, tell me again who runs the death squads?

Cable News Reeks

Ezra Klein says cable news is in trouble. He says the audience is aging, and that the big stories that catapulted the networks into the public eye no longer excite. But there are other reasons.

MSNBC has evolved into one long, painful Today Show. The hosts are self-absorbed. They hawk their own books and talk about what wonderful things they did over the weekend. As if anyone really cares, and judging by the ratings, no one does. The network struggled with formats, firing this one and that other one, only to replace the offending anchors, if you dare call them that, with future failures. They don’t get it. The shows are uninteresting. There is very little journalism, and every reason to change the channel.

Fox has a different problem. They exist on the outrage of the week, and frankly, their audience is no longer able to be outraged any more. They are numb. It’s just another outrageous story. The audience can’t feel anymore. And the heroes and shining stars of the conservative movement are as boring as the last group of shining stars. They have all run together, like the stories Fox keeps pounding into the faithful. Everyone is numb. No one cares.

CNN? God only knows what they are trying to do. Look for Bloomberg to eclipse them any day now. Fareed Zakaria cannot prop them up forever. (Best show on cable, BTW.)

And what of the future viewers, heads bent over smartphones, ignorant of the plight of cable news? Don’t expect them to download your app. They can read all the news they want on any number of sites, filtered on Twitter or Flipboard, or just on Reddit. Why go anywhere else? They don’t want to hear about Mika’s Ambien problem anymore than they know who Matt Hasselbeck is married to, or care even.

Cable news is toast, and for good reason. They deserve to be toast. Cable news reeks.

Cable news Cable News is in trouble. The Pew Research Center reports that the median daily audience for Fox, CNN and MSNBC is down about 11 percent since 2008.

Source: Here’s the Real Reason Cable News Is Going Down the Tubes | Mother Jones

Missing – world class freak

Of all the scum of humanity, nothing reeks worse than Lil’ Kim, the North Korean monster son of a long chain of Kim monsters. We could hope that he is in a Kim Chee pot decomposing rapidly, but happy endings are rare in this dung-heap of a country. What say we boycott Chinese imports until they do something about this sad failure of the people’s revolution?

Killing Journalism

Not that it ever was journalism; it morphed into news entertainment when CNN fell off the perch, and the upstarts, Fox and MSNBC, started to steal the faithful.

Actually long before CNN, but the line of demarcation is so evident at this juncture. The festering zit had been growing for a long time. With the launch of these rivals, it merely came to a head.

Now ‘entertainews’ can combine morning talk shows with country music, or oldies rock and roll if you have the stomach to watch MSNBC, and, to keep the faithful frothing at the mouth, propaganda, full of innuendo and invective, patriotism and pandering.

Should we malign Fox and Friends for doing it better than the others? I’m not sure. Perhaps we should malign Morning Joe for being so bad at it.

As Tom Wolfe wrote in Bonfire of the Vanities, ‘If you’re going to live in a whorehouse, there’s only one thing you can do: be the best damn whore around.’

Ray Suarez and Inside Story

Ray Suarez has found his voice on Al Jazeera, and it sounds good. Solid journalism, no jive, and Ray’s steady hand as moderator, are worth a watch.

The incessant monotonous drivel that is The Five on Fox, can wear anyone thin. Ed Shultz is a solid performer on the other side, but both shows are politic spin jobs. While that often fits the bill, the mind deserves a little variety. CNN answers that with The Situation Room. Still, something was missing.

Enter Ray’s golden tones, and thirty minutes of three-guest one-topic conversation. The questions are good, the tone is measured, and Ray shines.  You learn something, which is a rarity on the other networks.