Beware of Light-Skinned Latinos

Be on the lookout for light-skinned latinos. There are many of them on the campaign trail this season. They mumble a few lines in Spanish, eat what they think is a taco, and try to convince you that they are latinos too! They aren’t.

Hailing from the state where whitey is alrighty, IA Rep. Steve King is telling folks that he has latino creds. If so, he buries them pretty deep under that creamy white skin. His anti-immigration stance is legendary, so extreme that we don’t understand why he would even say such a thing.  Don’t try and speak Spanish to him. He doesn’t speak your language.

The gringo named Jeb might tell you that he is your kind of guy. Only if you want to go home. The kinder, gentler gringo will tell you whatever you want to hear, and when he is elected, will then say it is only fair that you get in the back of line. That line never ends.  You will be in limbo forever.

Beware of dark-skinned latinos too! The latino named Rubio may tell you that he has walked in your shoes. Hardly, unless you are currently wearing Johnston and Murphy. Rubio’s delicate little toes are not like yours. Work boots are not in his closet. He is a manny-peddy sort of guy. He doesn’t mow his lawn. You do.

Remember that there exists a group of republicans that the party refers to as ‘cattle car republicans’. They basically want to put 11 million hispanics in cattle cars and ship them south of the border. The light-skinned latinos on the campaign trail are not going to be able to go against them. But they can lie to you all day, pendejo.

Mother Jones