Comey to remain at FBI

James Comey will continue to serve as the Director of the FBI, as per the Trump Administration. In addition to remaining in his position, he will also be given a raise, and additional perks:

  • A lifetime golf membership at any Trump course.
  • A 60″ UHDTV
  • A Porsche
  • A Medal of Freedom
  • A Friend of Russia medal
  • Free tickets to the Miss Universe contest
  • A condo at Trump Tower

Comey’s dedication to freedom and liberty may also make him eligible for a statue on the Mall.