Flouridation, And Nut Jobs

The first assault on our precious freedoms may have been forced inoculations, but the real slap in the face to red-blooded Americans was fluoridation. Some said it was communist plot to pollute our water supply. Well, if you are one of those real American men who drink only branch water and deny women your precious bodily fluids, be glad you did. The feds are going to lower the level of fluoridation in your water. You were right.

The nut-jobs of conservatism are going to be crapping all over us when they hear about this one. Another sacred cow of the progressive era goes tits up. In houses all across the land, men with guns are drinking bourbon and branch water, with that see-i-told-you-so look on their face. I don’t even want to leave the house.

This is worse than the Julius and Ethel Rosenberg thing. Worse than Alger Hiss. Now fluoridated water standards are being lowered. What next, Eleanor Roosevelt was in bed with Stalin?  Maybe the nut-jobs we had such a good time making fun of were right all along. It is painful to contemplate.

Nikita Khrushchev banged his shoe on the podium at the United Nations and told the United States ‘we will bury you.’ And here we sit, ass-deep in cheap Chinese merchandise at low, low prices.  Raul Castro is practically a White House guest. My only speed-dial number is for takeout at Foo’s House of Rice. And my teeth don’t feel very good.