GOP Candidate Slugfest – Who Won?

wrestling

Yes, you could have watched this instead

It was a slugfest

Not sure who won the GOP debate last night, but one thing is certain; the voters lost again. It was a slugfest between Trump, Rubio, and Cruz while the Carson and Kasich sat it out for the most part, as they have done so often in the last six months. The only two candidates who came to a debate were largely ignored. The three who came to rumble dominated the event. These televised episodes can no longer be called debates. They are reality TV smack-downs

Rubio whips out his cojones

Marco Rubio bitch-slapped his opponent Donald Trump with his stones, and proceeded to stay in his face the entire time. The results were mixed, some saying he kicked some orange-haired ass, while others say he appeared just plain mean. The entire affair got very personal, with only a few comments related to anything presidential. There was one point at which we expected ‘yo-mamma-so-fat’ jokes, but it never came to that. It was close, though.

Cruz weasels in

Smelling blood in the water, Ted Cruz weaseled into the fray, attacking Trump while Rubio had him by the nose. If this was wrestling, the crowd would have booed, but two-on-one was just what this audience wanted. And these three were happy to give it.

Trump

Trump was unflappable, because he never responds to allegations. He calls his two also-ran opponents liars. He taunts them with personal attacks. He knows that the voters have long-since forgotten about the issues, and probably don’t want the candidates to make any sense. They want red-meat mixed martial arts, political-style. Issue are hard to understand. Yo-momma-so-fat jokes? Sure, bring it.

 

 

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