He-Man Woman-Hater

Psycho Joe

Schoolyard bullies and twitter assholes like to call people names. Psycho Joe is not appropriate. Joe The Mouth, maybe. Interrupt You Joe. That works. Psycho? No way.

Crazy Mika

Ambien Mika, perhaps. That is, for classless twitter-scum who have nothing better to do than rail at the TV. Which I recommend highly, were it not for the fact that less than a majority of the voting public want you to be a president, not an angry jackass.

Just Say No

To your not-so-smart phone. You are supposed to be representing us. You look like the First Clown. And when you gather the Republicans in the Rose Garden, you surround yourself with your clown sycophants. Try to act presidential.

23 Million People

That is the number at risk of losing healthcare from this loser bill you and the Evil Turtle have concocted. You have totally disrespected a lot of hard-working families.

Call Barack Obama

Ask for cool lessons. How to shut up. How not to be a jackass. How to shut up some more. How to stay on message. How not to be a jive honky. How to do anything but what you do.