Morning Sickness

Ready to hurl? Off we go.

Ed Shultz out at MSNBC

It a pathetic effort to find relevancy, MSNBC is moving to the center, canceling left-wing commentary in favor of straight news reporting. What, you say? You get your news on the internet? Well, maybe seeing Chuck Todd every day at five will wet your panties. Or fill your toilet. An afternoon hurl is good for you. With Todd’s shining face, you should be aspirating often. But there’s more. Rumor is that Brian Williams is returning from the dead, his penance for making up bullshit stories about himself over. All is forgiven, Brian; you can be on TV again!

Stacy Dash on keeping your man-meat happy

The break music on Fox News is solid country western, and so, it appears, is the marital advice. Stacy Dash should know, she has been down that aisle. Three times.  Juliet Huddy too. The astounding thing is that despite the sheer volume of marriages, viewers are never at a loss for marital advice. Wanna learn how to keep your right wing neanderthal? Why?

Sarah Palin will speak truth to the Donald

The presidency is not one man, but an administration that works for the betterment of the nation. So, who better to get advice from than Sarah Palin?  You may remember her as the Tea Party darling running mate of John McCain, who thrilled us with her lack of knowledge about anything other than gutting fish. The Donald considers her voice a valuable one, so if he wins, expect to hear that awful nasaly twang for four long years. On the other hand, we get to spend more time with Bristol Palin, the poster girl for out-of-wedlock mothers. Maybe we will get to see a drunken brawl with the French Ambassador in the Rose Garden? A stripper pole in the Taupe House? The Palin’s will keep things lively. You know, the right talks a big game when it comes to family values. They go to conferences and swear to take America back to a time when families mattered. We can’t wait.