Will The U.S. Invade Texas?

Will the U.S. invade Texas?

Everything is bigger in Texas. Even the conspiracies. This one should not have surprised anyone. Tunnels under WalMart could be used by invading federal troops to take over Texas.

Why the federal government would take over Texas is anyone’s guess. Perhaps to enslave decent Texans by giving them access to healthcare and schoolbooks that are rational. Enforce clean air and water standards. Destroy all Texas barbecue stands. (It sucks. The only good cue is in the real south.) Maybe to take away everyone’s guns. That one is always a crowd-pleaser.

And who believes that the Feds bear watching in these dangerous times? None other than Texas Governor Greg Abbot, the man who won almost 60% of the state, waxing Wendy Davis in 2014. He is insisting that upcoming federal troop exercises in the state should be watched very carefully. Oddly enough, no one seems to be watching the Governor carefully. Maybe someone should.

It takes a special kind of crazy to be concerned about your own troops, in light of the fact that the military is composed of us. We are the military. They are our kids.

What James Petigru once said of South Carolina can now be said of Texas; it’s too small to be a republic, and too large to be an insane asylum.

Louie Gohmert is not an anomaly. Everything is bigger in Texas. Everything.